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Poupon U (America's Mustard College)

Where do mustard lovers go to college?

POUPON U!

 

At POUPON U, we recognize the values of intellectual honesty, freedom of expression, and hard work. We don't practice those values but we do recognize them. Instead, we offer a stimulating learning environment where faculty and students engage in daily food fights.

 

POUPON U understands the importance of a quality collegiate football program and that is why we don't have a football team. We have big screen TV in the lounge and encourage our students to watch NCAA football every Saturday. But we do have two (yes TWO, and you can count them) outstanding fight songs that will make your spirits soar.

 

A college education can be difficult and challenging. Let's face it: getting into one of those big name schools and flunking out is a major bummer. Not a problem at POUPON U. Here's our most popular PEP RALLY CHANT:

 

Who needs Harvard, who needs Yale?

At POUPON U, you'll never fail!

Stanford, Princeton? Big mistake!

POUPON U's a piece of cake.

 

That's why you need a POUPON U Diploma

 

 

Learn more about POUPON U!

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The Proper Mustard is the official newsletter of the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum and Poupon U. You can read past and current issues online. Click here if you would like to subscribe to your own online issue.

 


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Show Your Spirit with Sweatshirts, T-shirts, Hats, Mugs, Pennants,...

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Poupon U Souvenirs

Poupon U Souvenirs

POUPON U Songs

POUPON U Fight Song

Wisconsin Version

 (Click to hear Barry Sing)

 

On our hot dogs, on our bratwurst,

Mustard is so cool.

Never mayo, never ketchup

They're against the rules.

Gleaming gold and mellow yellow,

Smooth, rough, sweet and hot,

Fight, POUPON U, we'll fight

and eat some lunch.

 

POUPON U Fight Song

South Bend Version

 (Click to hear Barry Sing)

 

Eat, eat, at old POUPON U,

Bratwursts and hot dogs,

hamburgers, too,

All with mustard spread on thick,

We never eat ketchup

'Cause it makes us sick!

We slather it on our bagels and fries,

Licorice and corn flakes,

blueberry pies,

Even with our Irish stew,

'Cause we're true to POUPON U!

 

Roll Out the Mustard!

(These are the REAL words!)

 (Click to hear Barry Sing)

 

Roll out the mustard

On pretzels and tofu and cheese,

On a baked potato,

On muffins and green beans and peas.

Try it in risotto,

On roast beef and burgers and chops,

Let it be the star of your sandwich,

So use mustard wherever it plops!

   

The fight songs use the RealAudio file format. Click the logo to the right to download the free Real Player.

 

NCAA Dishes Out Harsh Penalties

The big news out of POUPON U this year is the tough penalties handed down by the NCAA when it learned that POUPON U was giving out scholarships to (gasp!) academic scholars. The NCAA put the entire POUPON U athletic program on indefinite probation. College president Dratsum McFarkle expressed his regrets but reminded the NCAA that POUPON U has no teams and plays no organized sports.

 

 POUPON U Diplomas

Be the envy of your cell block when you hang your Poupon U Diploma on your wall. We will custom imprint any name on these elegant diplomas. Each is carefully signed by the Curator, the Curator's adorable son, the village idiot, and the Mount Horeb Subway & Transit token collector.

We now off six degrees at Poupon U, including our new CPA!

 

M.D. Degree: Mustard Doctor, with Highest Honors (Click to Purchase)

 

J.D. Degree: Juris Dufus, with Highest Honors (Click to Purchase)

 

D.D.S. Degree: Doctor of Diddley Squat, with Highest Honors in Useless Information (Click to Purchase)

 

M.B.A. Degree: Master of Bad Attitude, with Highest Honors in Insider Trading (Click to Purchase)

 

Ph. D. Degree: Philospher of Dijon, with Highest Honors in Existential Condimentality (Click to Purchase)

 

C.P.A. Degree: Couch Potato Authority, with Highest Honors in Channel Surfing (Click to Purchase)