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"Click here" if you would like to receive this newsletter via email.  Feel free to print this out and share it with your friends. Do not feel free to claim that you wrote it; no one would believe you anyway.

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THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS!

The Mount Horeb Mustard Museum is supported in part by generous grants from these fine companies: French's, Beaverton Foods, Silver Spring Gardens, Plochman's, Haus Barhyte, Robert Rothschild Berry Farms, GMB Specialty Foods (Norman Bishop Mustard), Bertman Foods, and Snyder's of Hanover.

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Newsletter Index

1. Really – it’s not too late!

2. And what if it really is LAST minute???

3. Those nasty club soda stains.

4. “You Bette She Likes Mustard!”

5. A Salute To Mustard’s Cousin

6. The Museum Collection

7. The Curator Suggests

8. “Hey, kid, how much for the Reichelderfer?”

9. Mustard Rap

10. This Month’s Recipe: Mustard Streusel Topping

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1. Really – it’s not too late!

Okay, it’s getting closer to December 25, the day when lots of people give lots of other people lots of great gifts. If you haven’t done your holiday shopping yet, don’t despair because the Mustard Musuem can still send out a gift of carefully selected mustards to your friends and loved ones in time for holiday arrival.

Here’s how it works: you call us and we help you decide on the perfect gift. We ship the gift. You wait by the phone until the grateful and amazed recipient calls to compliment you on your excellent taste and outstanding generosity. 

You can also do your shopping online. The advantages of online shopping are well-known: you can do it at any time, even at 3:00 a.m. The chief disadvantage is that you don’t get to speak with a confidential condiment counselor.

Orders going to the Chicago area, Milwaukee area, and areas not far from Madison will take only one day to arrive. That means a gift box sent on Monday, December 23 will arrive on December 24. Gifts going to further away places do take a little longer, although we can ship UPS overnight or second-day for an additional charge.) But get us an order by December 18 and there should be no trouble getting it anywhere in the continental 48 via UPS ground before Christmas.

Look below for some of the Curator’s suggestions for great gift ideas.

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2. And what if it really is LAST minute???

Here’s the scenario: it’s December 24 and you forget to buy Uncle Bleephus a present. “If only I had thought of it sooner! He would love some mustards from the Mustard Museum.”  You call us and we email Uncle Bleephus an electronic gift certificate that he can use for on-line shopping.  Brilliant idea! (Someone will be at the Museum on December 24 up to 5:00 p.m. to answer your calls: 1-800-438-6878.)

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3.  Those nasty club soda stains.

A reader writes: “Dear Captain Mustard: I often spill club soda on my expensive carpet. It’s so embarrassing when my guests see those tell-tale club soda stains. What should I do so no one will notice them?”  [Signed: Chagrined in Chicago]

Well, Chagrined, we have the answer. A few tablespoons of prepared yellow mustard on your pricey and sophisticated carpet will not only take away those unsightly club soda stains but also give you a new chic pattern that you never thought possible. For every square inch of club soda stain, apply one teaspoon of mustard. Rub into the carpet and let sit for four hours. Remove excess and you are good to go.

You’re very welcome.

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4. “You Bette She Likes Mustard!”

The January 2003 issue of Bon Appetit features a last-page profile of one of our favorite actresses/singers, Bette Midler. The magazine reports that one of the three things that Bette always has in her refrigerator is good mustard.

Anyone know Bette’s address?  We’ll send her some great mustards.

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5. A Salute to Mustard’s Cousin

Someone accused us of being condiment snobs, claiming that we have no regard for condiments other than mustard. Not so!

We are very fond of horseradish, that nose-searing condiment that belongs to the same family (crucifera) as mustard.  The sinus-clearing sensation of horseradish is similar to the head-popping sensation of real mustard; they both owe their pungency to allyl isothyocyanate.

The name “horseradish” is an English corruption of the German name for the radish, meerrettich, meaning “sea radish” (it grew near the coast). The word “meer” sounded like “mare” and someone cleverly called it “horse-radish.”

A few fun facts about horseradish:

In the American South, people sometimes rubbed horseradish on their foreheads to take away headache pain;

Other names for horseradish include “redcole” and “stingnose;”

Dagwood Bumstead was a major consumer of horseradish;

Sales of bottled horseradish in the U.S. go back to the year 1860;

You can find horseradish “schnapps” in Germany.

Two of the largest processors of horseradish in the United States are also respected mustard makers (having won several Gold Medals for their mustards): Beaverton Foods in Oregon and Silver Spring Gardens in Wisconsin not only cut the mustard, they also “grind the radish.”

No wonder horseradish mustards are so popular.

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6. The Museum Collection

We inch closer and closer to 4,000; the collection now stands at 3,966. The latest mustard is a jar of Drier’s Mustard from Michigan. Click here to visit the online collection.

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7. The Curator Suggests.

The Curator thinks that all of the mustards and gift boxes on the Mustard Museum web site and in the catalog are top notch but there is one gift box that deserves special mention. The “Thoroughly Modern Mustard” gift box contains four new mustards that have brought the category of spirit mustards to new heights. Here are the Curator’s tasting notes on the individual mustards that make up the gift box:

HBT140 Stolichnaya Vodka Infused Mustard – Brilliant lemon notes in a smooth sharp mustard, giving way to a lingering subtle sweetness.

HBT150 Beefeater Gin Infused Mustard – Green olives dart across the tongue, evoking memories of your first dry martini. A racy little mustard. You can almost chew on those juniper berries!

HBT160 Sauza Tequila Infused Mustard – Imagine the best margarita you’ve ever had packed into a jar of mustard. An unbelievable explosion of bright tastes. This is one gorgeous mustard!

HBT Mumm Champagne Infused Mustard – There are a lot of so-called “champagne” mustards out there but they don’t really taste like champagne. This one does! Elegant and full-bodied, with a hint of yeastiness that is the mark of some of the world’s great champagnes.

You can buy them separately ($6.75 each) or get all four in a handsome gift box for only $26.00.

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8. “Hey, kid, how much for the Reichelderfer?”

How much do you think a mint condition Michael Jordan rookie card is worth? Over the last thirty days on eBay, they routinely go for $125 and more. A Honus Wagner (he played baseball) card from before 1910 commands a price roughly equal to the cost of a minor organ transplant.

Is this fair? Is this socially responsible? Yes! I am not in the market for an organ transplant so I would certainly take a Honus Wagner card over some utterly superfluous body part.

Still, you have to wonder about this whole trading card hysteria. Baseball cards, football cards, basketball, hockey, wrestling, pop music stars, Harry Potter, Enron rogues (soon) – the list goes on. I understand there was once a set of cards featuring famous criminals.

I bought baseball cards as a kid. Back then a pack cost a nickel. Last week I heard some kid in a store plead his case for a four-dollar advance on his inheritance: “Gee, Mom, it’s a sound investment, with an expected real rate of return double the yield of your puny portfolio of losers.”

The twerp was not even going to play with them. He was going to watch them outperform the S&P 500 and most of the world’s mutual funds. (Okay, I’m jealous.)

I PLAYED with those crisp cardboard wafers. I flipped them, traded them, scaled them, played dice baseball games with them, and even put them in the spokes of my bicycle wheels for the cool sound effects. I never chewed the gum; that was to be kept as evidence for the next war crimes trials.

So what’s the deal? Do I begrudge our children the opportunity to experience the thrills of baseball and capitalism at the same time? Not at all. But let’s get our priorities straight. Let’s come out with REAL heroes on these cards.

Here are the new trading cards of the twenty-first century, celebrating the real heroes in our midst:

PROCTOLOGISTS ON PARADE.  I’ll trade you three Elliot Shapiro rookies cards for one Mark (“I see light at the end of the tunnel”) Reichelderfer.

LEGION OF LETHARGY: YOUR INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENTS. Wow. Holographic images of fifty-nine balding men named Hal and a token woman named Edna. In sixteen shades of gray.

DUKES OF DELERIUM: OUR PHY ED TEACHERS. Collect all three sets (grammar, middle, and high schools). Discover why our nation is in such great physical shape.

HARD-WORKING POLITICIANS WITH PRACTICAL IDEAS.  Ha! I was just seeing if you were paying attention. Don’t waste your money on this set of totally blank cards.

But here is a set of cards that I know will do well:

MUSTARD MAKERS OF AMERICA.  These are the men and women who have made a difference.  Robert Timothy French, Gene Biggi, Bobby Rothschild, Lionel Jacobs, Jeri Mesching, Margi Gunn, Pat Mazoh, Greg Bloom, and dozens of other condiment crusaders (I’m sorry if I left out your favorite). You’ll burn your Nolan Ryan rookie card when you see these.

So, anyone want to give me a quarter for a Bud Selig card? A nickel?  I’ll pay you???

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9. Mustard Rap

Here it is, the latest in cool rap music:

I’m the man who sells the mustard

And you’ll never see me flustered.

You know I can be trusted.

So I never will be busted

When I squirt it on my custard.

I’m the man who sells the mustard!

I put it on my wiener,

It makes me look much leaner,

It makes me seem much meaner,

You think my grass is greener?

I’m the man who sells the mustard…

(Go ahead, be cool when you rap out these condiment lyrics at your next party.)

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10. Recipe of the Month: Mustard Streusel Topping

This Thanksgiving, Mrs. Mustard served a wonderful broccoli dish with a zesty mustard streusel topping. Wow! The recipe came from the November issue of Bon Appetit but we have modified it to be an all-purpose topping for vegetables, quiches, and other savory dishes. The key is to use a good grainy mustard.

4 Tbsp. butter

½ cup finely chopped onion

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 tsp. dry mustard

3 Tbsp. grainy mustard (see below for suggestions)

2 ½ cups fresh bread crumbs made from crustless bread

¾ cup grated parmesan cheese

In a nonstick skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook until the onion is soft (about four minutes). Mix in the dry mustard and the grainy mustard. Add the breadcrumbs and cook until the crumbs are crispy and golden brown. As the crumbs begin to clump, separate them with the back of a wooden spoon. This should take about ten minutes. Remove to a bowl and let cool. Blend in the cheese and season with salt and pepper.

This will keep, covered and refrigerated, for about two days.

Spread over your savory dish of choice, dot with butter, and bake. In a 350 degree oven, the streusel should become perfectly brown in about 30 minutes.

(Wouldn’t this be great on homemade macaroni and cheese?)

HINT: Here are a few suggestions for grainy mustards that work particularly well in this recipe (you can order these mustards on our web site; we have also prefaced them with the Museum gift shop item number):

PMM100 Pommery Moutarde de Meaux

FNW104 Food & Wine Grainy Garlic Mustard

LDC101 Laurent du Close Grained Dijon

PLC101101 Plochman’s Natural Stoneground Mustard

DLF101 Delouis “Moutarde a l’ancienne”

Happy New Year!

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CONTACT INFORMATION:

Mount Horeb Mustard Museum
PO Box 468
100 West Main Street
Mount Horeb, WI 53572
Phone: 800-438-6878
Fax: 608-437-4018
e-mail: [email protected] (Barry Levenson, Founder and Curator) or
[email protected] (Michael Carr, President)
http://www.mustardmuseum.com/