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A Day Without Mustard... Contest
| Last spring we announced our “A Day Without Mustard…” contest, inviting readers to submit their most clever and literary completions to the phrase “A Day Without Mustard is like…” From over a thousand entries, we selected three winners (their prose also appears in our 2002 catalog) who have each received $100 gift certificates from the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum.
We thought you would like to see the winning entries as well as an assortment of “Mentions.” We can’t say that they are all “Honorable Mentions,” but we will let you decide. They are several entries that were hilarious but cannot be reprinted in the interest of good taste.
First, the winners:
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“A Day Without Mustard is like what happened when a well-meaning person cleaned the refrigerator and removed all the full and less-than-full, big and small, common and souvenir, honey and spicy, and all the other mustard bottles from the shelf to make room for more mayonnaise, and then served hot dogs for dinner, creating gastronomic distress with overtones of sadness, disappointment, and profound mustard-deprivation.” |
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- Donald F. Spak (Chicago, IL) |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like Sunday worship without Maxine Wallbaum at the organ.” |
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- John H. Beiderwieden (Havana, IL) |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a chicken without a road.” |
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- Bob Hayes (Lake Villa, IL) |
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Now the Curator gets to reveal some of his personal favorites.
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a giraffe without a neck.” |
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Steve Schweiger, Stevens Point, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like Indiana without mailboxes.” |
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Avi Miller, Highland Park, IL – age 6! |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a novel that opens with ‘It was a dark and stormy night…’ and then tells the story of the invention of Velcro.” |
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Patricia Seitz, cyberspace |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like toes without jam.” |
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Jerry Hoffman, Madison, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a vice cop without a Polaroid camera.” |
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Joshua Ford, Washington, D.C. |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like…GAAK!” |
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Logan Raemisch, Madison, WI – age 3! |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a road with no place to go.” |
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Edward Guziewski, cyberspace |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like Popeye greasing his brakes with Olive Oyl.” |
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Kathy Bohnert, Monroe, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like this contest without me winning.” |
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Randall Klein, Madison, WI
Guess what, Randall – you didn’t! |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a baby without dice.” |
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David Domash, Middleton, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like plummeting down an intestine-like chute of dismal nothingness.” |
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Laura Halfmann, Milwaukee, WI
Whoa, Laura, it’s bad, but not that bad! |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like an accordion without a squeeze.” |
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Donald Sutkowski, Syracuse, NY |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a proctologist without whipped cream.” |
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Ron Von Burg, Mesa, AZ
p.s. Ron – you are very twisted. |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like breakfast without beer.” |
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Jason Maloney, Peshtigo, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a hot dog without lips.” |
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Scott Gerner, Brookfield, WI |
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“A Day Without Mustard is like a policeman without his doughnuts.” |
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Hilary Keil, Severna Park, MD |
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