The Proper Mustard - - - 'Yellow Journalism at its Best!'
The Official Newsletter of the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum ~~~~ April, 2008
Editor-in-chief: Barry Levenson  [email protected]
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PLAY BALL!

It's springtime and the Curator's heart turns to baseball. His beloved Red Sox have started the season with a thrilling come-from-behind victory in Japan, inspiring the creation of a new gift box, complete with four mustards, a Moo Chew candy bar, and a signed copy of THE SEVENTH GAME, the lore and legends of the 35 seventh games of the World Series. The mustards are in plastic squeeze jars so you should have no trouble bringing them into the ballpark. Item #MX88, only $29.95.

SALES, SPECIALS, & NEWBIES

STK112 - (New) Stonewall Kitchen Orange Ginger Pretzel Dip. Silver Medal winner in the Fruit Mustard Category, now available. $6.50

STK501 - (New) Stonewall Kitchen Habanero mango Hot Sauce. Gold Medal Mustard-Based Hot Sauce. $7.50

PMM100 - Pommery Moutarde de Meaux. The chef's choice - grainy, earthy, nutty. In the distinctive 500 gram crock. Reg. $22.00. Only $16.50 through May 10.

RRT110 - Rothschild Raspberry Honey Mustard. 1999 Grand Champion. Reg. $7.25. Only $5.95 through May 10.

BK47 - Mustard On A Pickle. The Curator's whimsical children's book about a boy who loves mustard and puts it on everything. Reg. $9.95. Only $7.95 through may 10.

MRN100 - Marne Groninger Mosterd. A classic Dutch grainy mustard. Reg. $5.00. Just $4.00 through May 10.

ZNG100 - Sweet Zing Mustard. Smooth, sweet, and zingy. Reg. $6.50. Only $5.25 through May 10.

See ALL the Specials & Sale Items Here

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Our April YUCKY KETCHUP AWARD goes to The Sharper Image, the ultra chic gadget and gizmo company that ran into financial difficulties in 2007 and decided to stop honoring their gift cards. They soon retreated this policy but made gift card holders spend at least twice the value of their cards in order to use them. If Uncle Bob gave you a $25 gift card, you can only apply it to a purchase of at least $50. It would not surprise us if they are now stocking $50 ketchup dispensers.

Our April GOLDEN MUSTARD AWARD goes to a 13-year-old JACK MUSTARD who is so proud of his name that he has created a YouTube rap video. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAjmOCHx28o

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NEW TINS AT THE MUSEUM

There are now 4,911 mustards in the Mustard Museum collection. The number continues to increase while the stock market teeters. So which is the better investment? The Curator is very excited about his recent acquisition of an old tin of FAME dry mustard, from his hometown of Worcester, Massachusetts.

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MUSTARD BITS FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE JAR

SUGGESTIONS WANTED

The Curator and Mrs. Mustard are going to Paris and Dijon in a few weeks. We welcome any suggestions for dining, touring, etc.

SLIMM & NUNNE NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Our flagship mustards, SLIMM & NUNNE, are on the shelves at all Wisconsin Copps and Pick 'N Save supermarkets. We are delighted that our most popular mustards are available throughout the Badger State. But the suits at Roundy's (the parent company of Copps and Pick 'N Save) are getting grumpy because (they say) Slimm & Nunne isn't flying off the shelves. Do your part to silence these corporate naysayers by showing your support for the Mustard Museum. Buy Slimm & Nunne at your local Copps or Pick 'N Save.

KONDIMENT KARMA

Or maybe it's Kondiment Kabbalah. The Curator has always believed that the letters of certain words have mystical meaning and that these special words, when their letters are rearranged, have special meaning.

For example, if you take the letters of the words MOUTARDE DE DIJON and rearrange them, you come up with DEON DID OUTER JAM. Wow.

If that doesn't shake your faith, try these:

WHOLE GRAIN MUSTARD = THE WARM DARING SOUL
ENGLISH PUB MUSTARD = BUILDS STRANGE HUMPS
VERY HOT MUSTARD = TARDY TUSH MOVER
SWEET HONEY MUSTARD = SAME WET HORNY STUD
MAYONNAISE ADDICTS = AS MANY IDIOTS DANCE
KETCHUP EATING PERSON = PUKING THE STONE CRAP

Share your mind-bending food anagram (that's what they are called) with us and we will publish them in a future newsletter. [email protected]

NEWS FROM THE MOUNT HOREB TRANSIT AUTHORITY

"The recently announced fare increase for monthly bus and subway passes has been rescinded as it has come to our attention that we have neither a subway system nor any buses. We regret any convenience this may have caused."

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Until next time - Hasta la Mustard, Everyone!